Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Fabulous contest update
My cunning plan worked. I had hoped to protect my beautiful mind by getting someone else to do my dirty work (it's a trick I learned from the Bush family). Pam of Pam's House Blend went and checked out the freepers for dumbass defenses of Larry "Cross Killer" Northern's drive-by.

This defense, by one caisson71, is is my favorite from the collection Pam put together.
What happened to his "free speech" rights. You mean we can burn our flag but not run over some crosses?"

Caisson71 would prefer a world he can burn his cross but not run over some flags? I think this counts as the equivalency argument. Interestingly enough, Free Republic has this comment string searchable under the keyword "vandalism."

Pam also located this gem from finnman69.
Maybe it was stupid but in reality the crosses are FAKE!!!!

Um, I'll find a quick come-back for this one, even if it takes me all night. What, exactly, is a fake cross? One of an angle of other than exactly 90 degrees? Was finnman69 out there with a protractor measuring the angles of all of the alleged crosses? What about the St. Andrew's cross? Were the Scots and Confederates guilty of displaying FAKE!!!! crosses? I suppose that's why they kept getting their butts kicked by Britts and Yankees: God hated their crosses. As a Scot, let me be the first to say "doh!" Seriously, I think finnman69 fits the mol for arguing that it's okay to destroy a flag if it's a liberal flag.

Finally, Virginia Ridgerunner makes the frustrated local argument.
He should have quite while he was ahead, i.e. practicing his shotgun skills on his own property in anticipation of "dove" season. Running over the crosses was pretty stupid, even though they are part of Sheehan's sham, and even worse, he gave the anti-war morons the satisfaction of seeing him hauled off to jail.

VR gets points for spelling and for not being able to keep his Larrys straight. Larry Mattlage, a genuine neighbor of Bush's fired his shotgun in the air, Larry Northern of Waco ran over the flags and crosses.

My cunning plan wasn't really that cunning. I'm anal enough that I had to go to to Free Republic to confirn the quote and find out the freeper's names. Of the fifty Free Republic posts that I read (there were well over 200 posts, but fifty was all my beautiful mind could take), not one mentioned Northern destroying flags.It appears that the official party line is that he crushed the Arlington display to stop the dirty liberals from profaning the conservatives' cross (we had to destry the crosses in order to save the crosses). Ah, Free Republic. You'll go for the wingnuttery, but you'll stay for the garamar, the spelnig, and the logik.

Anyway, Pam wins the grand prize for locating all three arguments in one post. Coturnix, who pointed Pam out before I could properly link-whore this post is punished by getting billed for Pam's prize.

Did you know that "dumbass" isn't in the Word spell-checker dictionary? You did know that? Yeah, I'm not surprised.

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